Anxiety often tricks you into believing stories that simply aren’t true. When your worries take over, your mind often fills in blanks with the worst possible outcomes. It’s easy to get caught up in thoughts that feel urgent but aren’t backed by real facts.
Learning to check the facts helps you step back and separate what you know from what you fear. This simple habit gives you more control and brings relief, even when your anxiety feels overwhelming. With a few practical steps, you can break the cycle of worry, ground yourself in reality, and get the support you need if things still feel too heavy.
Understanding How Anxiety Warps Perception
When anxiety shows up, it doesn’t just make you feel jittery or on edge. It actually changes the way you see what’s happening around you. Your brain tries to fill in missing details, searching for answers, but it often picks the scariest possible ending to the story. This twist in thinking can leave you convinced that your worries are facts, even when they’re only guesses or imagined threats. Knowing how anxiety shapes your view is the first step to loosening its grip.
Why Anxiety Distorts Reality
Anxiety is a normal response to uncertainty, but it can create its own set of rules for how you see the world. When anxiety ramps up, your thoughts may rush past what you know and jump straight to what you fear. Anxiety doesn’t just make you feel nervous — it changes the way your brain processes information. Think of it like wearing glasses with the wrong prescription: the world is still there, but what you see is warped.
This happens for a few understandable reasons:
- Survival mode takes the wheel
When your nervous system senses potential danger, it flips into fight, flight, or freeze mode. This response was designed to save our ancestors from predators — quick reactions mattered more than accurate analysis. That same wiring now misfires during modern stressors (like waiting on an email or heading into a big presentation). Instead of calmly weighing evidence, your brain pushes you to assume the worst, so you’ll stay “prepared.” - Hyper-alert scanning
Anxiety tells your brain to zoom in on what could go wrong while ignoring signs of safety. For example, you might notice the one frown in the audience instead of the ten people nodding along. Or you replay a mistake from yesterday while discounting everything that went well. Your attention narrows, creating a reality that looks more threatening than it actually is. - Filling in the blanks — with fear
When details feel uncertain, your brain doesn’t like the gap. So it fills it in. The catch? Anxiety primes you to imagine danger first. That’s why silence after you send a message feels like rejection, or a small change in someone’s tone sounds like disapproval. From a survival standpoint, assuming danger kept humans alive — but in everyday life, it means your mind often paints a darker picture than reality.
Think of your brain as an overactive smoke alarm. It means well, but it sometimes goes off over burnt toast instead of a real fire.
Common Ways Anxiety Fills in the Blanks
Everyone’s anxiety looks a little different, but a few patterns show up often. When you’re anxious, you might find yourself:
- Assuming the Worst: Jumping to disaster before having any real proof.
- Overestimating Danger: Seeing something minor as a major threat.
- Underestimating Your Ability to Cope: Forgetting times when you managed hard things before.
- Focusing on What’s Missing: Ignoring the evidence because the feeling is too strong.
- Taking Thoughts as Facts: Treating every worry as if it’s already happening.
Compare the Lists Look at both columns side by side. Often, the facts take up much less space than your worries.
| What I Know (Facts) | What I’m Fearing (Guesses) |
|---|---|
| My boss replied with “Thanks.” | She secretly thinks I did it wrong. |
| I followed the steps they gave me. | I’m sure I missed something crucial. |
| I’ve solved similar issues before. | This time will be a disaster. |
Taking a few minutes to complete this reality checklist gives you a quick “gut check.” It keeps you from mistaking fear-driven outcomes for actual events.
The Power of Checking the Facts
Anchoring yourself in what you really know can slow down this spiral. Each time you check the facts, you bring your mind back to present reality, instead of letting it drift into guesses and stories.
When you catch anxiety filling in the blanks, ask yourself:
- What do I actually know for sure?
- What parts am I guessing or filling in?
- Have I been wrong about this before?
These small check-ins help shift your focus from unknowns that fuel your fear back toward what is actually true and right in front of you. Sometimes, just taking a quick scan of the evidence can help steady your thinking.
If you feel stuck, reaching out to someone you trust for perspective can also help keep your worries in check. In some cases, talking with a mental health professional can help you sort through the difference between what’s real and what anxiety wants you to believe.
👉 For a deeper dive, check out my post Escape Negative Thought Spirals: Your Definitive Guide to Clear and Balanced Thinking.
Identifying Fear-Fueled Thoughts Versus Reality
When anxiety takes the driver’s seat, it can be hard to know what’s real and what’s just a story your mind invented. Your brain collects scraps of evidence, patches them together, and suddenly, a simple worry feels like a concrete truth. Spotting the difference between thoughts ruled by fear and what’s actually happening is a skill you can practice. The stronger you get at this, the less control anxiety will have over your decisions and moods.
Common Signs You’re Operating from Fear
Fearful thinking has a few favorite tricks. These patterns can show up in your self-talk or sneak into everyday worries. If you notice these signs, it’s likely anxiety, not reality, is in charge:
- Catastrophizing: You jump from a small issue straight to the worst possible outcome (“If I mess up, everything will fall apart”).
- All-Or-Nothing Thinking: Things are either a total success or a complete failure (“If they’re late, they don’t care about me at all”).
- Mind Reading: You’re convinced you know what others think, even without enough ‘evidence’ (“They didn’t smile, so they must be mad at me”).
- Overgeneralizing: One setback makes you believe nothing ever goes your way (“I always get this wrong”).
If these patterns sound familiar, you’re not alone — this is just a short list of some very common thought traps. I’ll be honest: I do them, too. Odds are pretty certain that you’ve fallen into them at some point as well. The difference for me is that I teach about them often, which reminds me to spot and step out of the traps in my own thinking.
The good news? You can build the same kind of practice. That’s exactly why I created Think Better, Feel Better: The Must-Ask Questions to Stop Negative Thoughts Fast. This reference guide gives you clear, practical questions to ask yourself in the moment—so you can catch those thought traps as they happen and shift them toward a more balanced perspective. It’s not about forcing positivity — it’s about giving your brain the space to see the bigger picture.
Questions to Fact-Check Your Anxious Thoughts
Press pause before you run with any worry. Asking clear, simple questions can help you pull back from the spiral and root yourself in what’s real. Next time you catch your anxiety picking up speed, try these:
- What real evidence do I have?
- Write down facts you know for sure, not guesses.
- Have I faced a similar situation before? What actually happened?
- Recall facts from past experience instead of assuming worst-case outcomes.
- Am I confusing a feeling with a fact?
- Feelings are important, but they aren’t proof something bad will happen.
- Is there another way to see this situation?
- Remind yourself there’s rarely only one possibility.
- Am I leaving out information because I feel anxious?
- Notice if you’re ignoring reassuring facts or past strengths.
- What is the most likely outcome, based on what I know?
- Challenge yourself to focus on probability, not just possibility.
These questions help shine a light on which thoughts are facts, and which are stoked by fear. Sometimes, writing down your answers can help separate out the noise and make your thinking clearer. If you keep feeling overwhelmed after checking the facts, reaching out for support is often a good step.
Anchoring Yourself in What You Know
When your mind starts spinning with “what ifs,” it helps to pull yourself back to solid ground. You can do this by tuning into what’s real and right in front of you. Worry wants you to live in the unknown, filling your head with all sorts of wild stories. Grounding yourself in known facts helps break that pattern. These simple steps make it easier to focus on reality, not on fears that may never come true.
Practical Grounding Exercises
When anxiety cranks up, your body and mind can feel untethered. To anchor yourself, you need to reconnect with the present moment. Tactile and cognitive grounding tools give you just that.
Try these easy exercises whenever your thoughts start to spiral:
- List Five Facts
Name five things you know for sure about your situation. Speak to them out loud or write them down. For example: “I am sitting in my chair. I have handled hard things before. I know who I can call for support.” - Name What You See and Hear
Look around and slowly list five things you see, four things you hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This exercise pulls your focus away from racing thoughts and back to your senses. - Feel Your Feet on the Ground
Stand or sit and notice the connection between your feet and the floor. Wiggle your toes or press them down. Feel the steady surface supporting you. - Focus on Your Breath
Place a hand on your stomach. Take a slow breath in and out. Count each breath until you reach ten. This brings your attention back to what your body is actually doing, not what your mind is predicting.
These grounding habits help anchor you in what’s happening, not the “what if” stories in your head. Even a few minutes can help calm a fast-moving mind.
Using a ‘Reality Checklist’
A reality checklist lets you sort out fact from fear. Having something you can look at makes it much easier to see what’s real versus what’s imagined. Creating your own checklist only takes a few steps.
Here’s how to build and use a simple reality checklist:
- Write Down Your Worry
Start by putting your main fear or worry at the top of the page. Be as specific as you can. - List What You Know for Sure
Under one column, write out the facts. Focus only on things you can prove or check:- “I sent the email yesterday.”
- “The meeting is scheduled for next week.”
- “I’ve fixed problems like this before.”
- List What You’re Guessing or Fearing
In a second column, list the parts that are guesses or fears, not facts:- “They probably hated my email.”
- “Something is bound to go wrong at the meeting.”
- “I can’t handle another setback.”
- Compare the Lists
Look at both columns side by side. Often, the facts take up much less space than your worries.
Taking a few minutes to complete this reality checklist gives you a quick “gut check.” It keeps you from mistaking fear-driven outcomes for actual events.
If you start to feel anxious again, look back at your checklist. Remind yourself where the facts begin and the fear ends. Over time, this habit can help you trust what you know and feel more balanced, even when anxiety tries to take over.
Seeking Additional Support
Even when you’re checking facts, grounding yourself in what you know, and spotting fear-driven thoughts, anxiety can still take over. Sometimes, the usual tools aren’t enough. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed or that you’re not strong enough. It can mean you care about your well-being and recognize when it’s time for more help. Knowing when to look for support can protect your mental health and help you get back on track.
Noticing Signs That You Could Use More Help
Everyone has tough days, but if anxiety sticks around or makes daily life harder, it might be time for extra support. Watch for these signs:
- Your worry lasts most of the day or keeps you up at night.
- You avoid important things, like work, school, or friends, because of anxiety.
- It’s hard to control your thoughts, even with grounding exercises or self-talk.
- Physical symptoms, like headaches or stomachaches, show up often.
- You feel stuck or hopeless, or you’re finding it tough to take care of yourself.
When these and other patterns show up, reaching out is a wise next step. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Don’t wait until things feel unmanageable. Support is there for you, whether your anxiety is mild or has started to take over more parts of your life.
Steadying Yourself for What’s Next
Fact-checking your thoughts is a daily practice that helps you stay steady when worry tries to take over. Every time you pause to sort fact from fear, you build trust in your own judgment and remind your mind what’s real. Grounding yourself in the present keeps anxious stories from gaining power.
If old patterns show up or you need a little extra help, reaching out is often a strong next step. Keep using the simple tools from this guide and notice how your confidence grows. Your effort to check the facts, not just the fears, is a real way to care for yourself each day.
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J. Oni Dakhari, PsyD
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: J. Oni Dakhari, PsyD, is a clinical and pediatric psychologist who loves languages, is an avid traveler, and finds boundless excitement in the pursuit of knowledge and helping others. (NJ LIC# 4481; DE LIC# 736)
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