Our Success Under Pressure
blog series is designed to support driven individuals in balancing their professional aspirations with personal fulfillment and well-being. If you’re striving to excel in your career or academics while maintaining a sense of purpose and emotional resilience, this series offers practical, actionable, and evidence-based strategies to help you thrive under pressure.
In today’s fast-paced world, balancing professional or academic success with personal fulfillment can feel overwhelming. For those striving under pressure, the challenge lies not only in achieving goals but in uncovering deeper meaning and alignment in their pursuits.
It’s important to shift the focus from merely attaining goals to embracing the journey toward them. Why? Because what often happens is that the emotional high of achieving a goal quickly subsides, leaving the mind racing toward the next target and the next. This cycle can lead to burnout or a sense of emptiness, no matter how much success you achieve.
This is where the concept of ikigai—a Japanese term often translated as “reason for being”—offers a powerful framework for creating a purposeful, resilient life. Additionally, the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for values-oriented, committed living complement the ikigai philosophy, helping you align your life with what truly matters.
Shifting the Conversation About Purpose
Remember as a child being asked the age-old question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” For many of us, this was one of the first introductions to thinking about life in terms of distant goals and external achievements. While the question often came from a place of curiosity or encouragement, it trained our minds to focus on the future and tie our sense of purpose to a specific title or role.
But what if, instead, we had been asked, “What excites you most right now?” or “What do you enjoy doing that makes you feel alive?” Questions like these shift the focus from future-oriented accomplishments to the present moment—helping us discover what truly lights us up and aligns with our values.
This change in focus doesn’t just benefit children; it’s a mindset that adults can adopt as well. Imagine being at a social gathering and, instead of hearing, “What do you do?” or “What’s your next big goal?” someone asked, “What’s been bringing you joy lately?” or “What have you been doing that feels meaningful to you?”
When we focus solely on achievements or future plans, we reinforce the idea that fulfillment is always just out of reach—waiting at the end of the next big milestone. This kind of thinking can create unnecessary pressure, leaving little room to appreciate the present or align with deeper values.
Shifting the conversation to what brings excitement and purpose in the now encourages curiosity, self-discovery, and intrinsic motivation. For example, someone who loves mentoring might say, “I’ve been really enjoying guiding a colleague through a tough project.” Or someone passionate about creativity might share, “I’ve started painting again in the evenings, and it’s so refreshing.”
This approach mirrors the philosophy of ikigai—the Japanese concept of finding purpose in the balance of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what sustains you. It reminds us that fulfillment isn’t found only in the future but in the intentional actions and joys we embrace today.
What is Ikigai?
At its core, ikigai represents the intersection of four key elements:
- What you love (your passion)
- What you are good at (your profession)
- What the world needs (your mission)
- What you can be paid for (your vocation)
When these elements align, you find a sense of purpose that energizes and sustains you, even in the face of stress and challenges. For parents, ikigai might mean balancing career aspirations with the joy of raising resilient, emotionally strong children. For professionals, it could mean aligning daily work with a greater impact on the community or the world.
Living with Purpose: Building Resilience Under Pressure
Understanding and pursuing your ikigai doesn’t just help you feel more fulfilled—it also fortifies you against life’s pressures. Here’s how ikigai and related concepts can deepen your sense of purpose and resilience:
1. Values-Driven Living
Incorporating principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values-driven living emphasizes identifying what truly matters to you and using those values as a compass for decision-making. Living a values-aligned life helps reduce the sense of being overwhelmed by external demands, as your actions feel more meaningful and purposeful.
Practical Tip: Spend 10 minutes listing your top five values. These could include family, creativity, health, achievement, or service. Then, evaluate how your current life aligns with them. Are you dedicating time to what truly matters? If not, consider small changes to bring your actions in line with your values.
2. Growth Mindset
Success is not about perfection but progress. A growth mindset emphasizes the belief that abilities and talents can be developed through dedication and effort. This mindset helps you transform challenges into opportunities for learning and growth, which is critical for thriving under pressure.
Practical Tip: Reflect on a recent setback and identify one lesson it taught you. For example, did it highlight a skill you need to develop or help you see the importance of asking for support? Use this insight to guide your next steps.
3. Behavioral Activation
A key concept from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), behavioral activation encourages taking action even when motivation is low. Often, the act of doing something meaningful—especially when aligned with your ikigai—can reignite your sense of purpose and combat stress or anxiety.
Practical Tip: Choose one small activity this week that aligns with your ikigai. For example, if your passion is mentoring others, offer guidance to a colleague or family member. Even a small step can remind you of the bigger picture.
4. The Role of Acceptance
Another principle from ACT, acceptance involves embracing life’s inevitable challenges without unnecessary resistance. This doesn’t mean giving up; it means recognizing and making space for difficult emotions so you can focus on actions that align with your ikigai and values.
Practical Tip: When facing stress or disappointment, pause and name the emotion you’re feeling. For example, “I’m feeling anxious about this deadline.” Then, ask yourself: “What’s one small step I can take that aligns with my values in this moment?”
Integrating Ikigai into Family and Community Life
For parents navigating “success under pressure,” modeling ikigai for your children can be transformative. Teaching them to explore their passions, talents, and values not only helps them develop resilience but also instills a lifelong habit of intentional living.
Family Exercise: Gather as a family and create a shared ikigai chart. Discuss how each member’s interests and strengths contribute to a collective sense of purpose. For instance, one child might bring humor and positivity, while another might contribute a love for organization. This activity fosters connection and collaboration while emphasizing the importance of shared and individual purpose.
Thriving Under Pressure with Ikigai
Embracing ikigai is not about eliminating pressure but about channeling it into meaningful pursuits. When you align your actions with your purpose, you cultivate resilience, improve well-being, and create a life that feels both successful and fulfilling.
By integrating ikigai into your daily life and complementing it with values-driven living, a growth mindset, behavioral activation, and acceptance, you can navigate the demands of a high-pressure world while maintaining balance, clarity, and joy.
Remember, prioritizing your well-being isn’t selfish—it’s essential for showing up fully in all areas of your life. Taking time to explore your purpose, align with your values, and build resilience under pressure empowers you to navigate challenges with clarity and strength. And seeking support when needed isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to your commitment to growth and balance.
While these strategies can be incredibly helpful, they are not a substitute for therapy. If you feel you need additional support to manage stress, anxiety, or other challenges, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Investing in your mental health is one of the most powerful steps you can take toward a life that feels both successful and deeply fulfilling.
Ready to transform your life and boost your well-being? Therapy isn’t just for major issues; it’s a powerful tool for personal growth and everyday happiness. Check out our blog post on Therapy Myths to uncover the truths behind common misconceptions. Discover how talking to a mental health professional can help you navigate life’s challenges, improve your mental health, and enhance your overall quality of life. Why wait? Don’t wait for a major challenge – start your journey to a better you today!
J. Oni Dakhari PsyD
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: J. Oni Dakhari, PsyD, is a clinical and pediatric psychologist who loves languages, is an avid traveler, and finds boundless excitement in the pursuit of knowledge and helping others. (NJ LIC# 4481; DE LIC# 736)
Health Information Disclaimer: Attention Required
The information provided within this post and throughout this site, as well as any references or links, should never be regarded as a substitute for personalized medical advice from your doctor or another qualified clinician. The content of this blog, including any references, resources, links, or shared knowledge, is intended for informational purposes only. None of the content should be considered a replacement for professional medical advice, diagnosis, intervention, or treatment. Any actions or decisions resulting from consuming this content, including within the blog or associated resources, are entirely at your discretion.
Neither the blog author nor any associated professionals can be held liable for the consequences of such actions or decisions. Accessing or using any content on this blog, including references, resources, links, or shared knowledge, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship between the author or associated professionals and you.
Furthermore, contacting the blog author or any associated professionals of Dakhari Psychological Services, LLC, to provide personal, medical, or clinical information does not create a doctor-patient relationship. It’s crucial to consult with a qualified healthcare provider for individualized advice regarding your health concerns.
Affiliate Disclosure Disclaimer:
Please note this post may contain affiliate links. This means I may receive a commission if clicked at no extra cost to you. Though the opinions remain my own.
No content on this site, or any of the references or links, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician. The content of the blog, including any references, resources, links, or other shared knowledge, is for informational purposes only. No content whatsoever should be taken as a replacement for medical, clinical, professional advice, diagnosis, intervention, or treatment. Any action or inaction as a result of any content you consume, including within the blog, references, resources, links or other associated knowledge, is done solely at your discretion. The blog author and associated professionals cannot be liable for any of the consequence of such action or inaction. Accessing or using any of the content of the blog, including any references, resources, links, or other shared knowledge does not create a doctor-patient relationship between the author or associated professionals and you. If you choose to contact the blog author or any associated professionals of Dakhari Psychological Services, LLC to provide personal, medical, or clinical information, this does not create a doctor-patient relationship.
